2 sunday

*disclaimer: this is a series of the events that took place when i was admitted to hospital. i wrote a journal of the visit and decided to share it with you. because it’s awesome. all or most spelling mistakes are intentional.*

tape 1

okay so

one of the most important things is that i’m going to try and dictate this

and try and keep it in order

because realistically i don’t know how well this is actually going to record anything

so i’ll try and start now

so sunday

sunday is the 25th

on sunday

um

i would say

when i woke up in the morning i was still asking for pain killers and it was interesting

so i would wake up ask for some

fall asleep ask for some more

fall asleep ask for some more

uhhvv morphine

i probably got shot three times no twi

no

twice that day

twice that day i got shot

um

after that tried to eat some food

so i ate a little bit of my breakfast

i had a muffin

wasn’t gonna touch that

the muffin was more like a biscuit with raisins in it

i hate those things anyways

had some cereal

wish i ate that but didn’t

i had some uh

what else was there?

some fruit maybe

don’t remember what else

carrying onoh yeah

i remember putting my

my orange juice in the coffee by accident cuz i thought the cup was empty and for my orange juice

like on the airplane

where you have an empty cup and yr supposed to put stuff in there

yeah

so uh so i’m like awe fuck

what the

what the fuck is what i said

what the fuck

and the guy across from me over there he’s still like weirded out

i don’t know if he said anything at the time

let’s skip that

cut that part out

anyways so my uh day nurse was carrie

i’m just gonna say right now so i don’t forget

it went carrie

the night nurse was lorrie

2:20

3:55

carrie was the nurse she was quite helpful

but i was really irritated

the most important thing is

that uh

uh this was the first time getting out of bed

uh i started to not be sore anymore so i decided to not take any pain killers cuz

i don’t like the idea of taking something if you don’t need it

iwas relatively sore but i felt like i’d just stick it out

so uh

thee

physio

nurse came over

rr physiotherapist came over

got me outta bed

tryin to use the crutches

wrrked pretty good

saying out loud to myself

move left foot forward

it was intristing just tryin to say things while yr doing them

kinda like kill bill

move big toe

anyway wiggle the big toe yeah like that

anyways got back into bed sort of open the curtains

and i’m sittin there

and the jerk

who i hate

is across from me

actually this would have been at breakfast

sorry so yr gonna have to rewind and put that in there

at breakfast

i’m tryin ta eat

in bed lookin at the jerk rr

saw the jerk and sorta got a glance at what he looks like

i don’t wanna be his friend

i don’t wanna be anybody’s friend

so i

i tell my nurse

could you please close the curtain

thugis

that guy over there is staring at me

so she closes the curtain off ‘little bit

so he can’t see me

and i’m thinkin all day i’m just gonna be like

if anybody talks to me i’m gonna be like

i ain’t come here to make friends

haha

fuck you fuck you

but i didn’t say that

anyways

carrying on

hello?!

tape 2

ok so i think where we left off was

with this guy

and i’m like

i’m not gonna be friends with anybody

so

hmmm 🙂

i was sorta left alone for a while

um

i think one of my first visitors that day

was uh

let’s just say dr dawson he comes in and he talks about my shittiness

and i tell him all about it ‘n how much i hate it

i hate it

dr dawson

i hate it

ndso he’s like yeah i guess you probably would

ndso i’m like ok

see ya later

nduh a little while after that

the place is kinda empty but all the curtains rr kinda open up

nso like peoplerr

sitting around and then

tryinalike breath and  get little bit of fresh air

then ah

wonamy nabes over there across from me

uh

his

his name is darren i found out that later listening

um

his woman comes over

n close up curtains of course get a little privacy

anduh

it’s just so weird because the jerk

herbert doppler there

he’s like just so intrusive with his conversationing

he just wants to be part of the conversation

so he tries to talk to them while they’re

tryina get

some private time

y’know darren’s been in there for like nine rr ten days already

um

and his wife comes over to visit

anhh hh

herb’s like loud ‘nee’s tryina like have a conversation while they’re havina private moment

the whole like

curtains closed an everything it doesn’t make any sense

anyways

so

they’re havin a good time blah blah blah

sittin there in my sour mood like tryinta be

tryina be hard n shit like y’know

bein a total jerk to evrebudeh

my ah

so my physiotherapist comes in

started to get to work

and tryin to use these

these uh

whaddyoucallem

walkin sticks

my crutches

and that seems to work pretty good

as i said i’m kill billin it

lift left foot

move left foot forward

ok

continue on

let’s do it again

and so forth

later that day

mmmum’s comin in

she comes in quite often

tries to make sure that everythings going good

carrie

suggests that it’s a good idea for me to sit

sit down and have my lunch

so i sit down and eat my lunch

and jerk face

mcgee over there

he’s lookin at me while i eat ma lunch

ni’m like

i hate you

and uh she suggests i should probably sit in that chair for like two hours

so i just sit there

and i wait

let things sorta roll by

that’s a good idea

‘nduum

yeah you know my dad comes in ‘n he wants to make sure that everythings goin really well

later on dr chaney comes in

he’s makin sure that things are goin really well

oh and that

those two things happened after this moment

so i’m eatin ma lunch finish up

‘ndah darren’s wife comes in again

she’s got some uh

oh he gets a bunch of different visitors on sunday

probably the better day frr his friends to come over

cuz you know everybody works

so they come in

anyways she comes in later on afte after lunch

little bit after lunch

she’s got some muffins and stuff askim if he needs t’ have some

he explains t’her about how on friday he was about t’ get outta here he woulda bin outta here on saturday

but he ate some lettuce in his lunch

an it fucked up his stomach ‘nees gotta spend another threerfour days in th’hospital to get better frrm

eatin some lettuce

see his story is

he was ridin a motocross bike

jumped

i’m guessing

i didn’t catch that part but

he put the handle bar

right into his fuckin stomach

punched

his small intestine into his spine

caused a rupture

they had to get in there an sew it shut

so eating solids is out of the question probly for a month at least

nso he ate some salad

lettuce fucked him up

snext few days he’s tryina

recover

tryina shit really

thats whadee’s tryina do

he’s tryinda shit

anyways

so ah

so he’s telliner about this an how he can’eat the muffins that she brought so she

offers some ta herb

herb has one i think

she comes over to ask me an

‘member i’m in that really bad mood she’s like

hey there 🙂 wouldya like aa muffin

‘mlike no thank you >: |

she walks off

she’s like

okay :S

ugh jss y’knowa sortoflike a geez what’s wrong with you nnso heh

i think its pretty intristing i’m being pretty effective

‘nso iyah

i’m like

‘mthinking yeah i’m doin pretty good job at this being hard n stuff

uh just remember that once before that

darren had already come over ‘n said hi t’me from a crack in my open

a crack an opening in my curr’n

see i thought that maybe he was the jerk

he was like hey thrr

how’s it goin

ni’m like shitty >: |

nso

he goes to the bathroom he comes out he’s sort of always like peekin in to make sure that i’m doin alright

anyways after the whole lunch thing

my dad comes chaney comes in they sorta talk to me about what’s goin on i sorta get nauseous ‘n weird

ni’m trying to go to the bathroom n make sure that shit comes out n all that you know

en i’m also like trying to go to the bathroom so that i get outta bed ndo my thing

carrie’s wonderful girl

she’s like constantly very attentive n’a

i must’ve been really sour n i would really hate fr her to feel totally like shit

about

crabby patients you know

so i suppose this is my apology

carrie

um so

yeahr

aauum

at that point

i would say

we sora i sorta get up an i’m done sit’n in the chair

get back in bed

and y’know mum’s poppin in an out all day

so she comes in again whenever

does her thing

ndah

yeah darren’s constantly bein havin his privacy interrupted by herb

darren like comes over at one point he’s like

hey so uh

you wanna read some mag i got some magazines in case you wanna read some

i got some uh some uh some motocross magazines

n i’m like

no thanks i don’t like to read >: |

nee’s like

you don’t have to read em you could just look at the pictures

um like

das coo

nhe’s like

arright wl see ya later

heh

and uh so later on mhh

later on

before dinner

uh the

the uh

no

mustvbeen just after dinner

i don’t know how he found out but heime

my mom’s reverend

he comes over

n he’s like yeah

pretty crappy huh

‘m like yeah m feelin shitty

he’s like yeah y’know a lotta times people get ah y’know

oh no he says how’s it goin

mlike oh its shitty

he’s like yeah

how’s it goin… in here

sorta like taps at his heart

an i’m like

oh y’know its alright

he’s like

aw yeah y’know a lotta these can make people feel really bad in here

y’know crappy

mlike yeah

i know

msort of

starting to look away n

and like i wonder if he’s thinks that i’m like s thinking about distant thought rr something

but just before he came i actually needed to go piss

so i’m actually like looking away like tryina thi think about something else so that i don’t

piss my pants

an he’s like egh

haha

well if you ever need to talk about it you know you can always come to me

ni’m like thanks man

haha

i must’ve sounded so somber because

he musta thought awe man yeah

well

see ya later man

keep it real y’know haha

so he takes off or no just before he leaves matt

shows up

un i was so glad because matt ws like probably the only positive influence i’m gonna have while i’m here uh t’day anyways sunday so he’s like

hey man brought some cool reads for yuh

i’m like what no way he’s like

yup brought some ah got ah

i look in the box a bag an he’s got a vice magazine anee’s gotta fuckin

oh what’s the other one

si songwriters heh on songwriting

probly the most hellarious most ridiculous title ever me as a songwriter i think that talking to an artist about art is just about as no

way dumber

than talking to an athlete about sports

or like

specifically

their last game

and so

um

haha sigh

he’s also got another book in there

a reason basically like

like a

it’s like a game walkthrough

it’s a reason manual sorta thing

it’s a magazine on everything you need to know about reason nit

it’s great because it’s like a walkthrough like so it tellsya like

all about howta get to the boss

n n kill the boss man n win

haha

thats the way it looks anyway so i thought that was pretty cool

that he brought that stuff he brought an ipod i probly won’t listen to

um but i appreciate it

y’know

n i was tellin him how like

everybody comes in an they’re sorta like ss

saying that they’re givin you all this positivity but they

they’re talking so negatively about it n all sort of wanna do is bullshit n joke about stuff

so he’s talkin about how he’s doin the randy travis show an how he might come in the day after

am

anyways

very cool so

right after he got there obviously i had to go piss so i went piss and then come back

and uh

that was nice of him to bring those things

i read a bunch of the songwriters on songwriting

and uh

thebeven that night

carrie came in

again

we went to the tv room i got to watch a little bit of television

watched a movie or two

it was nice

sat in there frr a couple hours

mum came in nwe kinda hung out

that’s when the night nurse showed up

that night nurse was lorrie

she came in w when my dad came in

ndah i thought there was an interesting question she had she was like oh yeah

so berni um or dr driedger i can’t remember h she said but she just said hey

so

ahh

a are you on call right now?

h and he says yes that’s why i’m here yep

and uh

she’s like great so uh and starts asking him about this inflamation in her finger

and i just thought it was intristing because if he wasn’t on call

ishe gonna ask the same question? anyways it seemed funny to me but when i asked her

i didn’t get that kind of funny response

um

so yeah after that

went to bed

um

when i was in bed i was sort of reading with the light like every rrrr

darren turned off the light

he uh oh yes

he came over when i was eating dinner which would’ve been just before

yes just before um heime came in

and when i was done dinner

he came over and

herb was gone

and i was the only other roommate there’re four beds but i there were only three people in that room

herbert was gone he was doing something

and darren came over n he he tried to make another attempt at talkin t’me and he’s sorta like

hey man so uh

i uh i got some rr tse i sorta see him shufflin

he’s like hey man

i’m like hey

an i’m sorta

starting at being a better spirit found it sorta fading so i suddenly

yeah i don’t wanna be your friend i ain’t come here to make friends rarara

and then he’s like i see him shuff or i sorta see him outta the cornera my eye

sh shufflin with some stuff i know he’s just grabbin those damn magazines

so he grabs the magazines

n he’s like i know you didn’t uh but i uh got

i got some motocross magazines i got some uh atv magazines got some dirt magazines got some booby magazines

i’m like

say what

uh got some booby magazines

i’m like

really? that’s what i was thinking in my head

so he knows i’m intristed he comes over he’s like

well you know just look through them and if there’s anything you like

y’know

y’cn take it fr a read i’m like

ok

so i through at the top one it’s like maxim mlike uh i don’t even like the girls that’re in maxim

i donwanna know you

freakin and then not see you naked n so he’s like

i’m flippin through them

and then there’s a popular mechanics magazine i’m like oh that’s kinda cool n thn he’s like

and and oh yeah if you wanna take look at this my friend stapled a new cover on it

and it’s just like

boobies

the booby magazine has a bulldozer cover on it

a bulldozer magazine cover on it

i’m like bulldozers thats so ridiculous so i take it

anyways

so yes le continue on later on

so

i went to bed

i’m going to bed i’m in my bed

an i’m reading that book

an then uh herb and darren they want the light to go off

so they

go and tu shut off the light darren comes over an he helps me out with this light

shows me this little trick they got this string on the flourescent so you can just turn it off or turn it on

i was like that is very cool

and he strings it on my bed so i can just pull the string

and so i’m readin a book i’m readin a book and then all of a sudden

my iv machine makes a beep

but i didn’t know that it was my iv machine i was sorta like beep?

n y’know i’m likea

n yr in a room

a square room or whatever

a beep could come from anywhere

but its right next to me and i still don’t know where the fuck it’s comin from

so i look next to me i’m like looking at the beep machine

and uh

and the funny thing is like darren was gettin

like herb was sorta keepin darren awake askin him tons of questions n there was sort of a lull of silence

n i don’t know if they were actually going to sleep but i didn’t even know what the fuck time it was

but

it beeps

and then i’m like what the fuck looking at it

and it beeps again

and herb is like

oh what the fuck oh what the fuck

he starts makin a huge stink about it he presses the button fr the thing

an i was just about to press the button

nso i’m like well i guess i’m not gonna press the button

and it beeps again

probably beeps about ten times before lorrie comes in and she

she comes in and she fixes the machine t’like either finish up the iv or just stop

and i was like ugh thank god

but

so she

but herb is just like

awe man that things been ringin for like ten minutes now like wha awe man like

he’s just like fallen asleep with the light on

n then she leaves n then

this is where it gets weird he’s just like

oh man an he’s just he’s just fallen asleep with the light on like

what’s wrong with him why doesn’t he just like pay attention he’susss fall asleep

an then he turns like

you know what i don’t understand? who is that fuckin kid

everybody here seems to be tr bendin over backwoods tryin to help him out

n i i don’t even understand that like what kind of fucking system do we live in n

all this other stuff he goes in

on an on an on an on an on

an all i can think is

the fuck is this guys problem?

like what i don’t even know what to say

y’know that he’s makin me feel just so uncomftrble being in this room

doesn’t talk to me

first night he fuckin says a bunch of other shit with me

tries to conspire with darren darren obviously doesn’t give a shit

and he’s tryin to like conspire with darren again

darren obviously doesn’t give a shit

anyways

passes out

goes to sleep

everybody’s good

done

deal

anyways

Dictated Not Read

Stuart Driedger

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One thought on “2 sunday

  1. […] 2 Sunday stu’s a fan of airplane food and tells URSA he was disappointed and thought the hospital would have been better competition. Kill Bill is a must watch film. darren’s girlfriend brings in tim hortons, canada as fuck. the nurses wanna know if darren’s been shitting, later they wanna know the same about stu. […]

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