5 wednesday

*disclaimer: this is a series of the events that took place when i was admitted to hospital. i wrote a journal of the visit and decided to share it with you. because it’s awesome. all or most spelling mistakes are intentional.*

i’m awake

it’s 6am


why am i awake at 6am

and i have a hard on

great. i have a hard on

drugs make it impossible to dream

i could only dream of being in the hospital today

this first one…

well, what i can remember is this

we’re in the hospital

i’m in a large room. my beds the only one in it.

it’s real old school like nottingham palace.

and a girls appears next to my in bed and tell her we should fuck.

she nudges my head real hard with hers (in a “turn me on” kid of way).

i’m in a creepy white back corridor. there’s a short staircase. it goes to a busted door for a dentist.

they have dentist offices in hospitals? it’s an image from the movie “parenthood” with steve martin and others.

i go back to my room to get laid…

but instead i remember what happened, being on a video. since i got my laptop i can totally watch a porno and jack off.

i find the video, but it’s hard cuz it’s a dream.

i get back to my room and my bed’s on the floor and the frame is there and some nurses are rebedding so i figure i’ll jack off some other time cuz i wake up.

stay down cock! stay down!

and i whip it out.

my check list.

and check off “hospital”


so i’m not into it today. i go in and out of sleep sort of eat breakfast way late.


“you will not be having unprotected sex ever again”

oh yeah, what withall th’queschns bout stds from ma doc, i sorta told mums i bin havin straight sex, whoops

“yes i will mom. i’ll have any kinda sex i want. and yr not gunna tell me how to have it”

“i didn’t say that”

“yes yr tryin to tell me how to fuck mom”

“no i said i suggest…”

“no ya didn’t mom”

“yes yes i did”



at about 11 i’m getting my second antibiotics seeped into my veins and doc shows up.

“we’re gunna install your PICC line.”

“ooo exciting”

“yeah, dr chaney told you about it, hey?”

“yes he did”

“wow you have such lovely veins”

“heh heh yes i do” they always tell me that when i’m getting poked

“well after this they can even draw blood from this site and this PICC is good fr about a year”

“well that’s good cuz i’m starting to look like a real junkie”

and i am. i got two IV holes on the left, two on the right and they seemed to love taking blood from my left arm so there’s a buncha pokes there too. god damn it.

so here’s what they do

poked like an IV at first on yr upper arm (in this case my left). they make shr that’s nice and good and then freeze the spot then cut it and stick a way larger (bout 1.5 mm) tube into your vein and lead it as close to yr heart as possible. you go fr an xray make sure it’s close enough and certainly not too far. get back to the room and cap it with the regular IV shit. test it and yr golden.

i’m gonna be on IV fr 4-6 weeks getting anti-bs so i need this so i can go home an they can stop proddin me.

so they gotsta hook up thems IV again. nursy-nurse got distracted and we missed todays ceftriaxone. we’ll pick up on that tomorrow i guess.

in and out in and out more dreams about the hospital

sorta missed lunch i mean i had it a little late. mum comes in when i finish about 1 30 and brings smore food YAY! beef dip.

in and out a little more

krud and hadouka come in we go fr a cruise just after dirk does this attempt at wheeling the wheel chair they left behind. i don’t think i laughed like this yet since i bin here. it hurts. not a lot but it does.

in the basement we try to find the “mog rue” and of course it’s closed but i’m get’n wheeled around. it’scoo

they drop me off again after discussing pizza.

i thought they would come back and bring me some but at least my dinner was in.

i got the nurse to bring the phone. i call up lkr and she already hrd that day that i was in here and she’s on her way. I’m going to try for the sex. but it’s also nice to have the close company of a woman. a woman that is not your fucking mother.

she get’s there we lay in my stretcher and i tell here the extended story and we talk about shit and i have a dik on and i’m like

“wr either gunna hafto do it

or i’m gunna have to jack off in the bathroom”


“it smells so gross in here”

we get to the bathroom door

“you kn cum if you want. y’know, close the door”

“no. i don’t think so”

damn, so that’s two times i jacked off at the hospital today.

my mum comes just as i’m out and lkr’s helpin wif ma toof brush. that’s pritty good timing. see i haven’t bathed yet today.

so my diggs leaves and lkr sticks around fr a little while longer. that was nice company.


i sorta shake a little and then i get my meds and then i play some games and lik’ and dirk show up again way late like t’ten and th’nurse’slike

“yeah he’s alone so you can hang out but technically visiting hours are over”

well that’s cool

they come in talkin a story

“ok guys close the door”

“oh right, luka. c’mon bud. go close th’door”

so we hang out and eventually i mention to lickie how i know, cuz dremek’s bin on me about tellin lurka how it goes for some time.

it’s midnight.

they take off as i remember to shit and fucking bathe myself with a rag. man that’s a late time to get started.

it’s a good thing lkr didn’t wanna fuck cuz my dick was gross.

Stuart Driedger

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3 thoughts on “5 wednesday

    • E.Leventine says:

      yeah, that boy has a way about him, hehe
      There’s other parts to this that may make it less strange (but probably not) they’re listed under “hospital visit”

  1. […] 5 Wednesday he talks about his PICC line and dick cheese […]

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