Monthly Archives: May 2013

Texual Transcripts 7, or: All About How Stewit is a BITCH (ursa & bmcmb)

The following is a transcript of tuesday may 7th’s business meeting between ursa urn and BMCMB. Other transcripts can be found here.

  • ursa
    she was so pissed she “goodnighted me”
    “goodnight”ed me
  • BMCMB
    Goodnighted you!
    I wish I was there to mediate this. I would only do it for certain people. People I understand and love. I think that is the failure of psychology. There can be no trust and progress between strangers, one  of whom likely has a god complex
  • ursa
    haha the one in the chair
    not the lounger or the couch
  • BMCMB
    Yupp
  • ursa
    meh i’ve “goodnight”ed it too. it’s a nice way of saying i need to think
  • BMCMB
    That shit always makes me stress
    Being on the receiving end
  • ursa
    of a goodnight?
  • BMCMB
    Of a mid-discussion dismissal
  • ursa
    it wasn’t as much a discussion as it was me stating my complaints
    my boggle
  • BMCMB
    Ah so
    Yo boggo
  • ursa
    fill in the blanks auto publishing @ 2ish
  • BMCMB
    It’s aaaall coming together
  • ursa
    oh you should check stu’s sound cloud in 10 minutes
  • BMCMB
    Will
    Shall. Am I looking for anything specific?
  • ursa
    three new tunes
  • BMCMB
    nice
    When are we posting the “thing down” video because I LOVE IT
  • ursa
    Pont will whenever she stops being lazy. i’m not doing any old previously posted shit.
    kape. it’s all there
  • BMCMB
    Hokay
  • ursa
    listen to part 1
    and i made art for each track
    with those pics
    part 1 is in the right order
    please check i am laughing out loud
    i make good art
  • BMCMB
    part 1 is killing me
    it reminds me of eighties tv shows trying to be hip and shoehorning in some awful rapping that goes all the way back home to awesome
  • ursa
    yup
  • BMCMB
    I herd the addams before
    It”s smooth
  • ursa
    yup
  • BMCMB
    Love the cover photo for turtles

turtlepower

  • ursa
    good
    post it to drew on facebook. if you feel like it.
    yeah so that’s next
    for e
    i really love this city of crime pic
    cityofcrime NEWMAN’s mustache is an m from crime
    plus in that  pic bill cosby and minipops are in the background.
  • BMCMB
    I love fox in socks. I think we should post it
    What we really need is for someone to post something of ours and have it pick up on reddit.
  • ursa
    word. what’s reddit?

    wow this is fucking stupid. oh, cool
    this on reddit: Get nostalgic and send something from your favorite decade to another redditor in our first ever nostalgia exchange!
  • BMCMB
    Ha! Coo
  • ursa
    why don’t we have a reddit?!
  • BMCMB
    If you don’t know reddit, prepare to sacrifice the next few days of your life.
    hahaha… “have a reddit”. even I know that is hilariously inept, boo-boo.
  • ursa
    A FUCKING GIRAFFE GIF?!?!?!?!
  • BMCMB
    I have a new disney morning coming up. Ill email it to you soon
  • ursa
    great
    holy shit leonard nemoy audi commercial?!
  • BMCMB
    Haaaahaha oh reddit
  • ursa
    you reddit
    pfff

    i could get addicted to reddit. that’s my kinda place.
  • BMCMB
    It’s wonderful isn’t it?
    I sent you new comic
    It’s not aspretty but i don’t give a fuck
    dressmeupeditSMALL
  • ursa
    it’s good
    i love it
  • BMCMB
    true story
  • ursa
    draw a couple disney birds
    or i don’t know, a walrus
    people think dinosaurs are cute
  • BMCMB
    Naw that disney thing is for special thematic occasions
  • ursa
    kape
  • BMCMB
    Dinosaurs are fucking cute people are correct
  • ursa
    just thought it would cheer you up . you’re obv upset right now.
  • BMCMB
    Oho?
  • ursa
    pahahohohuhucough
    hiccough!
    oh my
  • BMCMB
    Haaaaa! I like that.
  • ursa
    i’ma prob transcribe most of this.
    do  the “driedjiss” thing for me
  • BMCMB
    FUUUUUUU
    DRIEDJISSSS I WILL CUT YOU! You pissin me off again driedj! YOU MUTHAFUCKA
  • ursa
    i’m imagining you talking to yourself in that voice
    laughing heheheheheeee driedjissssss awwwweeee
  • BMCMB

    I was.
  • ursa
    i realise that aaaahhhhh you muthafackaaa
  • BMCMB
    I’m actually furious
  • ursa
    driedjissss!
    stewit!
    aaaaaaaa
  • BMCMB
    GrrrrrrrrtrGRRRRR
    Stewit!
  • ursa
    you gonna eat those? you gonna eat those stamps? huh? driedjisssssssss ahahahaaaaaa you muthafuckaaaa!
  • BMCMB
    So, here’s how insecure I secretly am. I made mix cds for my coworkers as a party favor, and now I’m embarassed.
  • ursa
    was that good?
  • BMCMB
    Like “how presumptuous is a mix cd? you don’t even know what music they like, they don’t give a fuck. Who even listens to cds anymore. Everyone thinks I’m a keener”
  • ursa
    oh my god you nerd
    you rip straight to your car stereo
  • BMCMB
    Super bunk son.
  • ursa
    you are a “keener”
    ehhghghehge dplblpt dreeeeeeeeeejisssSSSSS!!,b!!
  • BMCMB
    we should lose the stuart references and then we can be talking business and call it a transcript. really piss Pont off
  • ursa
    i picture this rat latin mf doing driedjiss in the movie. i mean saying it. you know, when our website has its own film
    i’m prob gonna sleep a bit.
    my post are posting themselves.
    egad when i close my eyes i see zombies in my imagination!
  • BMCMB
    Beautiful mind you’ve got there
    I love it when you say egad. I’m stealing it. No credit. Welcome to the industry.

Epilogue… (ursa & Pont)

  • Pont
    All our male contributors should model for us. Driedjiss included. It should be  mandatory.
  • ursa
    kape.
  • Pont
    ask him for a photojournal
    A modeling photojournal
  • ursa
    huh. ok.
    i have a phot set right now.
  • Pont
    Oh?
  • ursa
    haha yeah when the beard was hilare
  • Pont
    He did a high fashion shoot with the beard? PIX PLEASE
  • ursa
    k
    haha
    high fashion
  • Pont
    Haute couture
    Editorial
  • ursa
    haute culture
    like horticulture
  • Pont
    Hohohohoooo
  • ursa
    meh it’s done
  • Pont
    Over it.
  • ursa
    plus google ruins everything
  • Pont
    Google totally ruined beard couture for me, too. But seriously though, what? what are you on about, as always I don’t know or care.
    but you must know; you are an embarrassment. I hilarious embarrassment. A Hilarembarrassment.
  • ursa

    oh piss my post didn’t auto-publish
  • Pont
    You stupid FUCK!!!!!!!!!

-Edits and links by an unimpressed Pont

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Pop Culture Junkies = Nostalgia Hilarioos

ursa: i’m ready. lay it on me.

SD: kay.

ursa: the facts. c’mon.

SD: whadthafug’ryouonabout?

ursa: mixtapesSAH!

SD: right, ummm…so… i finished up an old project thanks to help from you. you. aaaaaahhh lolz. thanks for the arty art, boo boo.

ursa: donmenshnit. what were we working on then?

SD: right so summer 2011, me and a comedian friend of mine, Drew MC , thought it would be funny to make an album of songs, which would start as spoken word, rap covers of songs written for films. generally title tracks and one rule was NO AWARD WINNERS ALLOWED.

ursa: is this a mixtape…izle?

SD: not exactly.

ursa: why suh, is suh it, not uh mix-uh tape-uh?

SD: i don’t google these definitions, so people may argue with me butt fuck em. a mixtape is generally a collection of tracks with lyrics (often improvised) that are performed and recorded on an already existing instrumental generally not created by the performing arist, but sometimes presented as a remix.

ursa: can you give me an example

SD: SHUT UP!

ursa: !

SD: no. i don’t really collect music so i would never be able to tell you. i just talk people and they play their music all the time so that’s one way of keeping things interesting. whateva! what we’re doing here is really just covers on remixes (although i would say covers really benefit when approached like a remix, i already know how the original artist plays it thanks)

ursa: neat!

SD: really?

ursa: you are being mean today.

SD: and you’re talking like a five year old. were you mind controlled when you were a kid or something?

ursa: egh, maybe.

SD: better… >: | anywho the tracks we ended up making before drew stopped calling me were:

Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks – “City of Crime” – Dragnet

Partners in Kryme – “Turtle Power” – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

MC Hammer – “Addams Groove” – The Addams Family

others on the list were:

Queen – “Princes of the Universe” – Highlander

Will Smith – “Wild Wild West” – Wild Wild West

The Fat Boys – Are You Ready Freddy” – A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

i dunno the list was long. me and drew actually made another video rap track called hot in the club like a year later or whatever.

ursa: but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.

SD: ahahaa k.

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dui dollar sign – Fill in the Blanks

ursa: so here we are with something with a lot of vocal layering.

SD: yeah yeah this is the next track we’ll be discussing. and i wouldn’t say there’s a LOT of vocal layer. three voices.

ursa: what’s with the title?

SD: it was the title i had before really beginning. but then again i’d say because the original was called “fill it”. and i kept it because it kinda capture the essence? kinda?

ursa: are you asking me?

SD: ?

ursa: …

SD: kinda?

ursa: explain to me a little more about this vocal thing we were talking about.

SD: ok so in this tune especially, there’s this area where you hear the rhodesy-organny-piano thing loud and clear. and when you listen carefully it masks some of the heavy back ups especially in the beginning where they tend to be lower. as in notes. now in this case it seems unavoidable. i tried panning but the whole sound is compromised because i really wanted this wide organ being that it is the only instrument other than the voices and the drums/percussion. i wanted it to fill space. so it cuts the vocal a bit.

ursa: how does the width effect that

SD: gah, geez, i don’t really know much about audio width it’s sort of new to me. but it seems to interfere with the sound when the sample is wide and you pan other sounds into that area of the audio spectrum. i don’t know i haven’t googled it or anything.

ursa: i like this one. it’s pretty big. why does it sound like my speaker is broken even when i turn it down?

SD: i can’t remember what i did. this track is from 2010. i do remember that i wanted that effect though. i did see the center vocal has a pitch effect on it but i couldn’t place it.

ursa: i don’t know if i like that

SD: well fuck you.

ursa: haha. so what is this tune about?

SD: death? i don’t know, i wrote it when i was pissed off because i had this girl staying over cuz she got kicked out of her place. i had a huge crush on her and my friend totes came over and just started making out with her and it was late and i most certainly did not want them effing in my house.

ursa: hahaha whaaaaat?! haha this does not sound like that kind of song.

SD: listen closer. it’s about how all of you will eventually die. and as much as i want to remember your sunny smiling faces, i def will be happy if i die and never live again. that and how i’m the one.

ursa: what?

SD: huh?

ursa: did you say…

SD: yes.

ursa: … k so next time what are we gonna talk about?

SD: well i have some mixtape stuff i’d really like you to hear.

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The Colorful Blasé: Fashionable Friends

FINALLY, a new Colorful Blasé submission from BMCMB. I’m not even going to explain how difficult it was to get this out of her.

Regarding this comic, I have a feeling things are only going to get more painful and embarrassing from here. Did I mention this is all autobiagraphical?
Click image for full-size.

dressmeupeditSMALL

Pont

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Yoshitaka Amano #3

Part 3 of BMCMBs Yoshitaka Amano featurette.

Today’s gallery is part 1/2 of pieces from Amanos’s collection The Virgin.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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KNEW YOU (Who is Dewey Steez?)

here’s some new stuff from DUI DOLLAR SIGN.

who is this chump? well…

ursa: so what’s this thing.

SD: well mkhhmm, if you take my name and switch the letters. and so on. plus it means “flow”.

ursa: flow?

SD: yeah, you know how rappers talk about flow?

ursa: right, but the name means flow?

SD: yeah, yeah, if you etymologize them words you find dewey is wet and steez flows. but we’re done that. now we’re called dui dollar sign. no caps. never any caps.

ursa: my mistake.

SD: yeah and its super fitting and sorta matches everything that’s been going on. dui dollar sign is also flow.

ursa: oh! like draft and cash…

SD: yeah something like that. and you know how people are re-branding themselves all the time. this works for rapping. and steez rhymes with please. and dui was neat, i’ve had one, and instead of being stupid and making my name $teez, i took “dollar sign”.  i haven’t seen there to be any specific word for that symbol.

ursa: …tell me about this track.

SD: well i often blatantly steal ideas from people. in this case i was stealing some minimal funk stuff from prince and it ended up sounding more like the disco-housey-whatever stylings of jamiroquai. like especially when the bass gets busy and then even more when the synthy thing comes in at 2:40 doing this pan thing. it’s playing these bizarre chords on top of that ostinato bass. very cool. very… jamiroquai. like post disco. and my gf was all “sounds like robots”. i was very happy about that. i mean i wrote this years ago. like sep 2010? and there’s a vocal idea for it as well. but it’ll be tricky fitting it in.

ursa: why come?

SD: well when mixing there needs to be space for the voice to sit and this mix is a little heavy in those areas, but that’s fine.

ursa: esplain a tad deeper, sir.

SD: well the voice core, which is the part that people really HEAR [the words], yknow, the part where they tell you to sing louder? the bit above that nasally sound? it sits like between i don’t know, 2000 up to like 4000hz, is being covered by other instruments. you can hear the space in the 500 range where the voice um, notes would be and your ears might even think there are bits missing from the music, well that’s what’s missing.  I really had this huge funk outfit idea for the track but production is hard and i doubt we’ll get around to it, so i post as an instrumental. my friend and musical partner jeanette robertson and i have a hilarious demo of autotune on the original of this track that i will likely lift the melody from, i mean i don’t know if i’ll ever have time for that though. and even then the tune would need to be extended like twice as much?

ursa: why twice as long?

SD: have you heard funk tracks? fuck they could go all night! you don’t have to change the track till people stop dancing. shit the only reason mine is so short is cuz there’s no vocals. I’d probably even save that bad ass guitar solo thingy for much later if there were.

ursa: send me some thingies with vocals next and we’ll discuss more.

interview by ursa urn

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Texual Transcripts 6 (ursa and Pont)

The following is a transcription of today’s business meeting. For more transcriptions, click here.

  • ursa
    wtf?!?!?!
  • Pont
    ?!
  • ursa
    that post?!?! that transcript?!?!
  • Pont
    Oh yeah, our artists decided to take matters into their own hands.
  • ursa
    and you let them?!
  • Pont
    Listen you might not like this subtle reality but i blame you a little bit.
    Just a wee bit
    When was the last time you posted any of your artists work?
  • ursa
    you blame me?!?!
  • Pont
    sonsofbitches are restless k? Can’t blame them for misrepresentation.
  • ursa
    but your artist did this!
    they are stepping out of the chain of command
  • Pont
    True
    I must say I have been getting a little slack here but you don’t have like any content.
    What has Stuart been up to is he sending you art? I can’t run this ship on my own you know.
    WHERE IS YOUR CONTENT?
  • ursa
    alright, i admit, i have beem slacking off but friggin DOUBLE YOU THE EFF?!
  • Pont
    pow pow! bang! I just posted it to keep you on your toes. appreciate it.
  • ursa
    but there are real identity killers in there i am not stoked.

    HELLO?
  • Pont
    sorry totally cooking.

    antipasto

    totally cooking this, specifically. antipasto waits for no “man”

  • ursa
  • Pont
    Get on that artist of yours. Ride that fucker like the sun’s burning out. Like where’s SANTA. where’a the music? Where’s that Amazing Lee Possible full length? Stuart has told me he will most likely be reuniting with Amazing lee possibles why haven’t you written anything about any of that?
    amprl

    ampstu

    will you drink that runoff once more, stu?

    And what aboutt he whole WRRD HRRDR WEDNESDAYS?

  • ursa
    and the format of the transcript is so off
    ugh etymology… and me and stu so talk about that…
    well i feel like an kevin’s mom when she realized her kid was missing.
  • Pont
    Great film. and Joe Pesci.
  • ursa
    FUUUUUU
  • Pont
    Happy 70th indeed. Guh, I’m getting older.
  • ursa
    i will fix this.
    and what is with the BOLD LETTERS that say highly unauthorized? ugh you have a way about making us look bad…
    i can’t even use foul language this makes me mad.
  • Pont
    Believe it.
    I mean we’re obv past you apologizing
  • ursa
    D:
    oh no you dih’in. bitch you done effed yo mouff.
  • Pont
    Bring it.
  • ursa
    i’ll be bringing the chuck norris variety.
    norristiredofit
    or if Mr Lee had a beard i would be coming at you like the many more and much more powerful fists of fury unleashing at you right meow.
    leevsnorris
    i never get head aches this makes me want to have obe
  • Pont
    Who’s obe? is he cute?
  • ursa
    * dammit.
    ugh he’s your dog.
    where does the chuck norris meme originate?
  • Pont
    you mean other than that they are facts?
    i hate you so much for asking that. who asks shit like that. this is why we can’t have nice things, and why our contributors are going over our heads to get shit done.

Pont

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