Category Archives: Letters

Long No Something

arright k

so a bunch of stuff has gone down since last post, including the disappearance of our beloved boss and rich friend.

E has gone missing.

he left us a picture at the office like a month or so ago and that’s all we’ve heard from him since.

image l

we kinda didn’t know what to do.

regardless, our artists have actually been working quite a bit.

let’s begin with some togetherness.

driedjisssss has been mad colabbing and has a series of wicked awesome musics we thought would be nice to share.

we’re going to have a series of interviews between him and the other E peeps shortly.

ursa urn

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Texual Transcripts 7, or: All About How Stewit is a BITCH (ursa & bmcmb)

The following is a transcript of tuesday may 7th’s business meeting between ursa urn and BMCMB. Other transcripts can be found here.

  • ursa
    she was so pissed she “goodnighted me”
    “goodnight”ed me
  • BMCMB
    Goodnighted you!
    I wish I was there to mediate this. I would only do it for certain people. People I understand and love. I think that is the failure of psychology. There can be no trust and progress between strangers, one  of whom likely has a god complex
  • ursa
    haha the one in the chair
    not the lounger or the couch
  • BMCMB
    Yupp
  • ursa
    meh i’ve “goodnight”ed it too. it’s a nice way of saying i need to think
  • BMCMB
    That shit always makes me stress
    Being on the receiving end
  • ursa
    of a goodnight?
  • BMCMB
    Of a mid-discussion dismissal
  • ursa
    it wasn’t as much a discussion as it was me stating my complaints
    my boggle
  • BMCMB
    Ah so
    Yo boggo
  • ursa
    fill in the blanks auto publishing @ 2ish
  • BMCMB
    It’s aaaall coming together
  • ursa
    oh you should check stu’s sound cloud in 10 minutes
  • BMCMB
    Will
    Shall. Am I looking for anything specific?
  • ursa
    three new tunes
  • BMCMB
    nice
    When are we posting the “thing down” video because I LOVE IT
  • ursa
    Pont will whenever she stops being lazy. i’m not doing any old previously posted shit.
    kape. it’s all there
  • BMCMB
    Hokay
  • ursa
    listen to part 1
    and i made art for each track
    with those pics
    part 1 is in the right order
    please check i am laughing out loud
    i make good art
  • BMCMB
    part 1 is killing me
    it reminds me of eighties tv shows trying to be hip and shoehorning in some awful rapping that goes all the way back home to awesome
  • ursa
    yup
  • BMCMB
    I herd the addams before
    It”s smooth
  • ursa
    yup
  • BMCMB
    Love the cover photo for turtles

turtlepower

  • ursa
    good
    post it to drew on facebook. if you feel like it.
    yeah so that’s next
    for e
    i really love this city of crime pic
    cityofcrime NEWMAN’s mustache is an m from crime
    plus in that  pic bill cosby and minipops are in the background.
  • BMCMB
    I love fox in socks. I think we should post it
    What we really need is for someone to post something of ours and have it pick up on reddit.
  • ursa
    word. what’s reddit?

    wow this is fucking stupid. oh, cool
    this on reddit: Get nostalgic and send something from your favorite decade to another redditor in our first ever nostalgia exchange!
  • BMCMB
    Ha! Coo
  • ursa
    why don’t we have a reddit?!
  • BMCMB
    If you don’t know reddit, prepare to sacrifice the next few days of your life.
    hahaha… “have a reddit”. even I know that is hilariously inept, boo-boo.
  • ursa
    A FUCKING GIRAFFE GIF?!?!?!?!
  • BMCMB
    I have a new disney morning coming up. Ill email it to you soon
  • ursa
    great
    holy shit leonard nemoy audi commercial?!
  • BMCMB
    Haaaahaha oh reddit
  • ursa
    you reddit
    pfff

    i could get addicted to reddit. that’s my kinda place.
  • BMCMB
    It’s wonderful isn’t it?
    I sent you new comic
    It’s not aspretty but i don’t give a fuck
    dressmeupeditSMALL
  • ursa
    it’s good
    i love it
  • BMCMB
    true story
  • ursa
    draw a couple disney birds
    or i don’t know, a walrus
    people think dinosaurs are cute
  • BMCMB
    Naw that disney thing is for special thematic occasions
  • ursa
    kape
  • BMCMB
    Dinosaurs are fucking cute people are correct
  • ursa
    just thought it would cheer you up . you’re obv upset right now.
  • BMCMB
    Oho?
  • ursa
    pahahohohuhucough
    hiccough!
    oh my
  • BMCMB
    Haaaaa! I like that.
  • ursa
    i’ma prob transcribe most of this.
    do  the “driedjiss” thing for me
  • BMCMB
    FUUUUUUU
    DRIEDJISSSS I WILL CUT YOU! You pissin me off again driedj! YOU MUTHAFUCKA
  • ursa
    i’m imagining you talking to yourself in that voice
    laughing heheheheheeee driedjissssss awwwweeee
  • BMCMB

    I was.
  • ursa
    i realise that aaaahhhhh you muthafackaaa
  • BMCMB
    I’m actually furious
  • ursa
    driedjissss!
    stewit!
    aaaaaaaa
  • BMCMB
    GrrrrrrrrtrGRRRRR
    Stewit!
  • ursa
    you gonna eat those? you gonna eat those stamps? huh? driedjisssssssss ahahahaaaaaa you muthafuckaaaa!
  • BMCMB
    So, here’s how insecure I secretly am. I made mix cds for my coworkers as a party favor, and now I’m embarassed.
  • ursa
    was that good?
  • BMCMB
    Like “how presumptuous is a mix cd? you don’t even know what music they like, they don’t give a fuck. Who even listens to cds anymore. Everyone thinks I’m a keener”
  • ursa
    oh my god you nerd
    you rip straight to your car stereo
  • BMCMB
    Super bunk son.
  • ursa
    you are a “keener”
    ehhghghehge dplblpt dreeeeeeeeeejisssSSSSS!!,b!!
  • BMCMB
    we should lose the stuart references and then we can be talking business and call it a transcript. really piss Pont off
  • ursa
    i picture this rat latin mf doing driedjiss in the movie. i mean saying it. you know, when our website has its own film
    i’m prob gonna sleep a bit.
    my post are posting themselves.
    egad when i close my eyes i see zombies in my imagination!
  • BMCMB
    Beautiful mind you’ve got there
    I love it when you say egad. I’m stealing it. No credit. Welcome to the industry.

Epilogue… (ursa & Pont)

  • Pont
    All our male contributors should model for us. Driedjiss included. It should be  mandatory.
  • ursa
    kape.
  • Pont
    ask him for a photojournal
    A modeling photojournal
  • ursa
    huh. ok.
    i have a phot set right now.
  • Pont
    Oh?
  • ursa
    haha yeah when the beard was hilare
  • Pont
    He did a high fashion shoot with the beard? PIX PLEASE
  • ursa
    k
    haha
    high fashion
  • Pont
    Haute couture
    Editorial
  • ursa
    haute culture
    like horticulture
  • Pont
    Hohohohoooo
  • ursa
    meh it’s done
  • Pont
    Over it.
  • ursa
    plus google ruins everything
  • Pont
    Google totally ruined beard couture for me, too. But seriously though, what? what are you on about, as always I don’t know or care.
    but you must know; you are an embarrassment. I hilarious embarrassment. A Hilarembarrassment.
  • ursa

    oh piss my post didn’t auto-publish
  • Pont
    You stupid FUCK!!!!!!!!!

-Edits and links by an unimpressed Pont

Texual Transcripts 6 (ursa and Pont)

The following is a transcription of today’s business meeting. For more transcriptions, click here.

  • ursa
    wtf?!?!?!
  • Pont
    ?!
  • ursa
    that post?!?! that transcript?!?!
  • Pont
    Oh yeah, our artists decided to take matters into their own hands.
  • ursa
    and you let them?!
  • Pont
    Listen you might not like this subtle reality but i blame you a little bit.
    Just a wee bit
    When was the last time you posted any of your artists work?
  • ursa
    you blame me?!?!
  • Pont
    sonsofbitches are restless k? Can’t blame them for misrepresentation.
  • ursa
    but your artist did this!
    they are stepping out of the chain of command
  • Pont
    True
    I must say I have been getting a little slack here but you don’t have like any content.
    What has Stuart been up to is he sending you art? I can’t run this ship on my own you know.
    WHERE IS YOUR CONTENT?
  • ursa
    alright, i admit, i have beem slacking off but friggin DOUBLE YOU THE EFF?!
  • Pont
    pow pow! bang! I just posted it to keep you on your toes. appreciate it.
  • ursa
    but there are real identity killers in there i am not stoked.

    HELLO?
  • Pont
    sorry totally cooking.

    antipasto

    totally cooking this, specifically. antipasto waits for no “man”

  • ursa
  • Pont
    Get on that artist of yours. Ride that fucker like the sun’s burning out. Like where’s SANTA. where’a the music? Where’s that Amazing Lee Possible full length? Stuart has told me he will most likely be reuniting with Amazing lee possibles why haven’t you written anything about any of that?
    amprl

    ampstu

    will you drink that runoff once more, stu?

    And what aboutt he whole WRRD HRRDR WEDNESDAYS?

  • ursa
    and the format of the transcript is so off
    ugh etymology… and me and stu so talk about that…
    well i feel like an kevin’s mom when she realized her kid was missing.
  • Pont
    Great film. and Joe Pesci.
  • ursa
    FUUUUUU
  • Pont
    Happy 70th indeed. Guh, I’m getting older.
  • ursa
    i will fix this.
    and what is with the BOLD LETTERS that say highly unauthorized? ugh you have a way about making us look bad…
    i can’t even use foul language this makes me mad.
  • Pont
    Believe it.
    I mean we’re obv past you apologizing
  • ursa
    D:
    oh no you dih’in. bitch you done effed yo mouff.
  • Pont
    Bring it.
  • ursa
    i’ll be bringing the chuck norris variety.
    norristiredofit
    or if Mr Lee had a beard i would be coming at you like the many more and much more powerful fists of fury unleashing at you right meow.
    leevsnorris
    i never get head aches this makes me want to have obe
  • Pont
    Who’s obe? is he cute?
  • ursa
    * dammit.
    ugh he’s your dog.
    where does the chuck norris meme originate?
  • Pont
    you mean other than that they are facts?
    i hate you so much for asking that. who asks shit like that. this is why we can’t have nice things, and why our contributors are going over our heads to get shit done.

Pont

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Texual Transcripts 5 (Stuart and BMCMB)

The following is a highly unauthorized transcription of today’s highly unauthorized business meeting.

vintage_levis_ad1

BMCMB
I love wearing men’s jeans

SD
Ha!

BMCMB
Men’s jeans make me look like an early suffragette who just ain’t give a damn, going on safari with her brothers.
annie peck smoke

I also love looking like shit after a night of drinking and dressing hyper-feminine. Like a tired-ass groupie face, sex-and-sweat-and-aerosol hair, rococo prim clothes, pastels and florals and shit.

SD
Hahaha!

BMCMB
And when i dress in baggy ass men’s slacks and tucked in white buttonup, you know my hair and makeup be perfect, son.
katherine-hepburn-trousers

SD
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Dear Paris Talant-Bleak, (Y?)

…so many girlfriends
such little time, Paris
and if there was ever a bitch in the bunch, Paris
your number would be up, Paris
cuz yooz the capital queen
with an upper case ITCH.
(i’m thru scratchin)
i give it all to you
GIRL
FRIEND Continue reading

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Hospital Visit: FYI

Intro
Stuart Driedger is one of ursa’s pet artists, and a frequent E. Leventine contributor. He has previously released a concept album (Demolish Us Vol 3, with The Amazing Lee Possibles) which ties in with an upcoming collaborative comic project between he and ursa, Santa and the Enchanted Delorean. His most recent submissions were his collection of semi-coherent diaries written while he was hospitalized.

ursa interviewed Stu and compiled a sort of chronology/index to accompany each chapter. Key words are linked to reference articles for clarity. The notes for each chapter are linked to the relevant diary entry, and should help untangle the drugged up stream-of-thought mania that are his hospital diaries.

-Intro and edit by Pont

Continue reading

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Texual Transcripts 4 (ursa and SD)

The following is a transcription of today’s business meeting between ursa urn and Stuart Driedger. Other transcriptions are found here.

  • SD (Stuart Driedger)
    Yeah I’d like to speak with upper management
  • ursa
    please hold whilst i place your call
  • SD
    THIS IS A TEXT BOOBS
  • ursa
    boobs?!

    hilarious!
  • SD
    How do i get in touch with E anyways?
  • ursa
    ha! you’re talking to the wrong peon
  • SD
    Listen, I gotta ask him why I don’t have my own header yet.
  • ursa
    there’s no way thats ever gonna happen
    even beiber doesn’t have a header and i hear she’s famous
  • SD
    Yeah well let me ask him myself
  • ursa
    errrrr
    does not compute…
    it seems i’m having problems connect on this motorola
    it says right here that my GSM 7200 doesn’t recieve texts
    you’ll have to try back whither before or after christmas

    Paul Christoforo, wither before or after wwebsite as on the internet

    Paul Christoforo, wither before or after wwebsite as on the internet

  • Continue reading

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Textual Transcripts 3 (Pont and the New Guy)

The following is a transcription of today’s business meeting. Parts 1 and 2 are here.

  • Stuart Driedger (SD)
    Thinkin bout some denny’s latenight
  • Pont
    I’m bummed all by myself, had one of my most pathetic days today. Fuck I want Denny’s
  • (SD)
    Great! I’ll be there in ten hours.
    Lolz
  • Pont
    Don’t tease, you arsehole.
  • (SD)
    I was thinking of going to *censored* … Next week i’d be free til thursday
    Mon – Thursday
  • Pont
    No fucking Way, I only work tuesday
  • (SD)
    I have this song should be recorded haha
  • Pont
    Song recorded you say?
  • (SD)
    Yea lolz
  • Pont
    Hyuckhyuck
  • (SD)
    Is that your comedian laugh
  • Pont
    That’s my cartoon character laugh
  • (SD)
    I was gonna guess again thanks a lot.
    Ruin my life
  • Pont
    Fuckin boohoohoo
    What song izzit? Have i heard it?
  • (SD)
    No that new one.
    I might have $300
    Getting denny’s
    So i’m gonna eat a lot here at th’ol den‘s
  • Pont
    Please describe for me exactly what you are ordering.Their menu is like a moebius strip, man. It’s endless. Unbelievable.
    dennys menujapanese dennys
  • Continue reading

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7 friday

*disclaimer: this is a series of the events that took place when i was admitted to hospital. i wrote a journal of the visit and decided to share it with you. because it’s awesome. all or most spelling mistakes are intentional.*

YAY!!! I’m outta here.

homecare nursing.

middle-aged asian(?) lady. loves to tan. loves to git hrr harr did.

and i’m thinking of her voice sounding like Barney. y’know. the purple dinosaur.

add in the music on your own accord.

“so! are you gunna be able ta take care o’this on yer own?… at home?”

“yeah sure, we’ve worked it out. i got my PICC line in”

“ok shooer! but yer gunna have ta come in ta git thuh dressings changed. dahyulk!”

“what ever, i just wanna get the fuck out of here”

“ok! well, seeya later! hahaha yup!”

SHEENA

“alright, get me the fuck outta here! yeah.”

“well we’ll just check out your discharge orders and let’s get this last anti-biotics in ya”

mom

“hey stu poo”

“alright! let’s get the fuck outta here!”

“hey, don’t swear. i’ll find out if you can get out.”

“i can, just get me outta here, right now!”

“yaaa, yaaa, yaaa…”
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6 thursday

*disclaimer: this is a series of the events that took place when i was admitted to hospital. i wrote a journal of the visit and decided to share it with you. because it’s awesome. all or most spelling mistakes are intentional.*

4am

gotta piss

oh man

the bottle’s way to far away ohh whyrrrrrr

gotcha

rrr mmm ok i hope i don’t over flowcuz someone didn’t empty my shit since the night before.

aahhhh…

ah!

oh shit!

oh mann aawwee man

*ding the nurse*

ARLETTA

“ok so i like thought the bottle could handle some pee but. hm. down my leg. everywhere. gross.”

got out of bed

“heh. ok well that’s pretty hilarious :)”
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