Texual Transcripts 5 (Stuart and BMCMB)

The following is a highly unauthorized transcription of today’s highly unauthorized business meeting.


I love wearing men’s jeans


Men’s jeans make me look like an early suffragette who just ain’t give a damn, going on safari with her brothers.
annie peck smoke

I also love looking like shit after a night of drinking and dressing hyper-feminine. Like a tired-ass groupie face, sex-and-sweat-and-aerosol hair, rococo prim clothes, pastels and florals and shit.


And when i dress in baggy ass men’s slacks and tucked in white buttonup, you know my hair and makeup be perfect, son.

Continue reading

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MashUp March: Ghostwriter

More mashup March, because fuck April.

I hope it’s not too obvious that I try to skim a little below the surface when I choose feature tracks for Leventine, but I do. I try to avoid redundancy, and although most mashup fans (and trip hop fans) will have heard this track, it needs to me mentioned.

Ghostwriter by RJD2 is a bit of an abstract mashup. I had one of those moments when I first heard it, I stopped everything I was doing and played it three times in a row. It wasn’t until I started researching its artist that I realized I had heard bits and pieces of the song before. Specifically, Elliot Smith and Paul Desmond. Here is a great blog article that breaks this song down in terms of sampling.

The real achievement here is how unique Ghostwriter sounds, despite being a Frankenstein of other music. Almost like the source tracks had a baby. It has Elliott Smiths eyes, The Delfonics’ hair, Paul Desmond’s smooth charm, but it still has its own identity and will always have a nostalgic place in my heart.


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MashUp March: Ocarina of Rhyme

Hey nerds. Are you feeling a little left out of the mashup loop with all this shiny pop music? Are you wondering why we’re carrying our MashUp March into April? Shut up. No, just shut up.

I love you dorks. Here’s something you can shuffle awkwardly to.
Team Teamwork: Ocarina of Rhyme (Busta Rhymes/Gerudo Valley)

Ocarina of Rhyme is the baby of Team Teamwork, and holy crap I’ve never felt more badass about my nostalgic obsession with the soundtrack to the Ocarina of Time. The full album (which can be downloaded here) is one of many nerd/rap-flavored projects in his repertoire. If you hit up his website, you’ll find all kinds of geekery. Super Nintendo, Sega, Final Fantasy… I encourage you to check it out.


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MashUp March: No Pause

Girl Talk is a lot of fun. More on him later, meanwhile, a track:

One of the masters of mashup, his mixes are so good I often find myself listening to a song he samples wishing I was listening to the mashup instead. That is huge for me, considering my overall pickyness regarding remixes in general.
The following is a list of songs used in No Pause, taken from the video’s YouTube description (along with their time stamp):

0:00 Faith Evans – Love Like This
0:00 Fatman Scoop – Be Faithful
0:00 Missy Elliott – Work It
0:18 Nu Shooz – I Can’t Wait
1:01 Heart – Magic Man
1:04 Public Enemy – Rebel Without a Pause
1:32 Len – Steal My Sunshine (which samples More, More, More by The Andrea True Connection)
1:32 Young Leek – Jiggle It
1:33 Spank Rock – Sweet Talk
1:46 Tears for Fears – Head Over Heels
1:49 Cheap Trick – I Want You to Want Me
1:49 E-40 – Tell Me When to Go
1:49 Missy Elliott – Ching a Ling
2:08 Run-DMC – Peter Piper
2:22 Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze
2:28 Yael Naim – New Soul
2:37 Eminem – Shake That
3:03 Swizz Beatz – Money In The Bank


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MashUp March: Shine Bright

I have a fondness for pop music my cooler friends will never understand. Having said that, I can also be a harsh critic, because I have certain expectations of it. It has to amuse me. I don’t go to pop music looking for deep meaning or new ideas. I just want fun.

2012 was not a great year in pop music for me. I didn’t hate most of it (it was no 2001-02), but it did reek of Taylor Swift’s emotional insecurity and lazy, invasive Dubstep. With that in mind, it’s particularly impressive that DJ Earworm still turned out one of his best yearly mashups to date. Since 2007, the San-Fran based DJ has taken the chart topping songs of the year and fused them into a single cohesive track.

It’s an interesting exercise; it speaks as much to DJ Earworm’s imagination as it does to the blandness of today’s pop. Exactly how easy was it, I wonder, to combine these songs to make it sound better than all of them individually? Maybe not as hard as you think, considering how many 2012 hits featured the word “tonight” in a leading role. Oh well, it’s still a great track, I can dance to it: PASS.
DJ Earworm: United States of Pop 2012 (Shine Bright)

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Hercules Bloopers

After I posted the Hercules Line Read Fail I went on a Kevin Sorbo bender, thinking I would find a wealth of hilarious evidence that he (as I put it)
“…must have been a delight to work with”.

I did find such evidence, but not the footage I expected of Sorbo being an idiot and screwing up lines. I found the best blooper reel I have ever seen. I came into this expecting to make fun of him for being an idiot, but Kevin Sorbo made an idiot out of me. He just might be the most pleasant guy ever. It doesn’t matter how tacky the scene is, or how melodramatic his lines are, as soon as he breaks character it’s clear Sorbo is having way more fun than should be strictly possible. Damn it, people, Kevin Sorbo should be our new Chuck Norris.

Pont’s Highlight: my favorite, 2:30


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MashUp March: Tequila Lip Gloss

For the rest of March, I’ll be posting some of the choicest mashup songs I can find. There are many sub-genres of mashup and just as many artists. A good mashup takes music sampling to its logical conclusion: the best pieces of many songs getting it on in a frantic musical orgy. Some mashups are fun because they play with the recognizability of a classic (or terrible) song. Others are fun because you have no idea what the original music could possibly be; the mashup becomes the equivalent of a collage or an abstract painting.

Today’s track is an example of A vs B mashup, where two (or more) very recognizable and largely unedited hooks from songs are played side by side. When done well, it doesn’t sound like a DJ mashup at all, but an intentional crossover between two seemingly incompatible artists.
Tequila Flavored Lip Gloss, DJ Paul V

DJ Paul V, using Lil Mama’s Lip Gloss and The Champs’ Tequila to very simple but excellent effect.



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Hercules line read fail

You know how actors sometimes read off cue cards in terrible shows? You know how the scripted dialogue on said cue cards will include some instructional asides, like:
JOHNNY:”You are tearing me APART, LISA!” (hysterical)
SAMUEL L: “English, motherfucker, do you SPEAK it?” (angry)
or even
HERCULES: “Wait a minute… This isn’t my world.” (dissapointed)

He thought it was dialogue. He thought he was supposed to say ‘disappointed’ and he damn well gave it his all, folks. This man must have been a delight to work with.


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The Yes Dance

Just a little something that used to get me through my day back in high school. Comes to you courtesy of
Robert James Hoffman III, via YouTube.


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Meme Monday: Milhouse is Not a Meme

milouse wiki

Behold! Internet culture’s prime example of meta humour, Milhouse. For a brief rundown, I quote Encyclopedia Dramatica:
Milhouse is not a meme
Milhouse is not a meme is a meme
Milhouse is not a meme is a meme is also a meme”

Get it? This Meme started, as most do, on 4chan, specifically within /b/. As one does on 4chan, anonymous posted something along the lines of : “If this post ends in 4, Milhouse is a meme”. Milhouse as a meme works in my mind, after all, he is the original Meg Griffin, but 4chan thought differently. Suddenly /b/ was filled with throngs of people who seemingly possessed a heretofore unparalelled amount of hatred for Milhouse, and would stop at nothing to see Milhouse’s dream of memedom be quashed.

never milouse

The internet is a funny thing, though. Trolls can never resist. Because of the passionately negative response to Milhouse, there was a flooding of trolls posting incendiary Milhouse picture and comments, sparking such an overwhelming reaction that the prevention of Milhouse’s meme, itself, became a meme. Sorry, /b/.
mom sez

not a meme
I personally find it inspiring that Milhouse, legendary whipping boy that even the internet hates was whipped so hard by his oppressors, his whipping became legend. I salute him. And on an unrelated note, here are some of my favorite Milhouse moments.


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